Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies
 
 
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
 
 
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic
 
 
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
 
 
Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
 
 
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." I’m just sayin’...
Sincerely,
Google
 
 
Dear 2011,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
 
 
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
 
 
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God
 
 
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder
 
 
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people
 
 
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain... no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin
 
 
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere
 
 
Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman
 
 
Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
 
 
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish dirtbags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
 
 
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
 
 
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
 
 
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
 
 
Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant