You know you’re from Iowa when…

• Your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March.
 • You learn your pickup will run without a muffler
 • You’ll skip your cousin’s funeral for the first day of deer season.
 • You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
 • You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart.
 • You think people are idiots who say: “You grow great potatoes there.”
 • You consider being called a “Pork Queen” an honor
 • You want to buy manure.
 • You are walking knee-deep in snow.
 • Your “letter jacket” was worn after your 19th birthday.
 • Your Christmas gift, when you were ten years old was a shotgun (a BB gun if you were a ‘townie’).
 • You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
 • “Vacation” means driving through the Amanas, going to Adventureland or Okoboji.
 • You have boiled fish in lye for Christmas
 • The nearest mall is at least 90 minutes away
 • You’ve licked frozen metal
 • You have gone Trick-or-Treating in two feet of snow
 • You have no concept of public transportation

 • Detassling was your first job.
 • “Hick” is a style of clothing.
 • There’s a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
 • The only reason you go to Wisconsin, South Dakota or Missouri is to get fireworks.
 
 • You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
 • Directions are given using “the” stoplight as a reference.

 • Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
 • You are from a town that has nearly as many churches and bars as houses.
 • You drink “pop”, do the “warsh”, fish in the “crick” and shingle the “ruff”
 • Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by mustard and pickles
 • If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Iowa.

 • Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
 • The local gas station sells live bait.
 • Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.
 • You go to the State Fair for your family vacation.
 • The meaning of true love is that you’ll ride in the tractor with him.

Awesome!  I want that for my wedding.   Camo would be cool... pluss we can go hunting for the honey moon